“I have a huge hankerin’ for some more teabaggin’.” “I‘m glad you called. You are full of romance and a tea bagger to boot!” rep...ied Leslie. “Cool beans!“ replied Hugh as he hung up the phone and walked into the full service grocery store. “May I help you?” asked the clerk with a nametag on that said “Phil”. “Yes” answered Hugh, “I need some toilet paper for my anus.” “Ok,” replied Phil, “What kind of anus are we talkin’ here?” “Well, it’s a 1983. He was totally enjoying this. Slowly he reached down and placed his hands on the back of her head and gently started thrusting his cock into her mouth.Amanda was doing everything she could think of to please her man. She reached up with one hand and started stroking his cock while she was sucking on it and she was gently caressed his balls with her other hand. She loved the feeling of his cock in her mouth and wished she could keep it there forever. She was able to feel every vein and ridge. She made the agonizing climb into the tub, squatted... then turned to look at him. He waited a few seconds, then said, "Go ahead, shit."Her asshole opened and she blew out the entire two liters of brown seltzer in just a few seconds, along with several turds. This was followed by a long minute of raucous farts as she expelled all the gas the seltzer had left behind. As one of the turds slid between her feet, she looked up at him, and shivered as she saw his smile."Well, now. It sure looks like. "He had a point, I had to admit. Damn, now I knew why so many people followed him, he was clearly good at convincing others with his words... "You want to explore her cracks, the one in the front and the one in the rear, you want to make some sweet Blitzkrieg to her fuckholes, you want to" - "Alright, fuck, stop it man. You're right. I want to fuck her, I'd love to fuck her. But there's no way I'll ever do it, so thanks for your advice, but you can't help me here, she would never agree to fuck.
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