“I still have the receipt, you insensitive bastard.”Went out last night and got really wasted.I woke up this morning next to a fat old bird who wa... snoring.So, at least I got home OK.Angela Merkel arrives at Passport Control in Athens airport.“Nationality?” asks the immigration officer.“German,” she replies.“Occupation?”“No, just here for a few days.”As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Parking Officer’s funeral, a voice from insidescreams: “I’m not dead, I’m not dead. Let me. " They all laughed and grinned at her, thinking of ways to make her squeal. Her breath came in ragged gasps as her mind fought against the glorious sexuality that threatened to overwhelm it. "Ha-ah-ppy Birth-ngh-day to-- yooooouuu. (pant) (pant)." He was increasing his pace, overengorged now as he pumped harder. Her lower lip began to quiver as she tried to hold in her imminent climax. "Ha-ha-ppy Bir-ugh-thday too-ngh- hyooouu. ungh ungh (gasp)." His shaft was now as thick as any she ever had,. But i just graduated from college and he promised to use his friends and influence to help me get a job.Birgitta: Life has been good to you. I'm glad, you look like a really nice guy. Your girlfriend must be very lucky.Paul: Ah.... I never had one.Birgitta: How come? You are tall with blonde hair and green eyes. You can't expect me to beleive that NO girl has ever been attracted to you!Paul: On the contrary, they avoid me like the plague because i wear big glasses, i am a " nerd " and too nice. He assured me that he hadn't but suggested that I should do it.It was one of those warm summers when the temperature never went under 30 degrees Celsius during the day and had been so for more than a week so everything was warm, so warm that it wasn't easy to get any relief from the heat anywhere. Anita, my wife since three years, and I was sitting in our deck-chairs in the shade of a big tree in our back-garden occasionally sipping some cool white wine. Anita in shorts and a bikini bra myself.
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