Q: How do you find a man in a bar who is sensitive, caring and good looking?A: He’s nursing a Mike’s Hard Lemonade and is acting super super gay!Q... What is the difference between a sofa and a man watching Monday Night Football?A: The sofa doesn’t keep asking for Bud Light!Q: What is the similarity between Michelob Ultra and having sex in a rowboat?A: They are both SO close to water!Q: What do you say when you’re gonna drunk dial someone?A: Al-cohol youQ: What do blondes and bottle of Corona. "These are my cunts, demons!" I roared. "Mine!"The force of my voice lashed out, slamming into the ape-demons. The ape-demons froze, their mindless rage stilled by my power. They had no wills of their own, just bestial appetites. I filled that will, giving them purpose once again. Not to all of them, but a lot, maybe a hundred or so. The more I seized the harder it grew to dominate the rest.My women gasped in surprise as the ape-demons attacking them turned on their fellows."What did you do?". Lacey spoke up for the first time, “You guys sure have a beautiful house.” Absent-mindedly Sandy said, “thanks.” Sandy and I hurried in to see if Barbara was ok. She met us at the door and looked Sandy up and down.“I was worried about you guys. It’s so late and I called the frat house and nobody answered the phone’.”I said, “We’re sorry but something came up. We thought you’d be asleep or we would have called. Barbara, this is Lacey.” Barbara said, “It’s nice to meet you. “I asked Sandy if. She was raising her arm and pointing down over the head of a skinny kid with a big smile and long blonde hair standing next to her on crutches.‘This is her brother, this is Rick.’ I thought. ‘She didn’t tell me he was on crutches’.I waved again and turned back with my hand over my heart as the National Anthem started playing. I couldn’t get the picture of Rick Carpenter out of my head.“Dalton, Bolden, Cooper you’re the captains for tonight, get out there and represent your team and your school.
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