GRAB! THE! VINE!!!"-- and two that go togetherQ: Why do elephants paint their balls red?A: So they can hide in apple trees.Q: How did Tarzan die?A: Pi...king apples.Building PermitSome have asked what I've been doing in retirement. Well, I applied for a building permit for a new house.It was going to be 100 ft. tall and 400 ft. wide, with 12 gun turrets at various heights, and windows all over the place and a loud outside entertainment sound system. It would have parking for 200 cars, and I was. I’ve always been so naive and impulsive. It was so irritating and now I realised the truth. I had no choice; I’d have to go home like this. There was no other option.Thanks to my stupidity I now had to do the one thing I always had nightmares about. I’d have to be naked in public. It was the middle of the day and I was so afraid and so reluctant to go anywhere, but I had to, and I had no-one to blame but myself for being in this horrible situation.“Well at least it can’t get any worse” I told. I didn't have to start anything. He started the talking for me."Frank!" he said as he waved me in his office, getting up and closing the door behind me. "Come on in. Sit." He gestured to the sofa near the window. He took the chair across from it. "I'm so glad you're here, Frank. I've really been wanting to talk to you." Really? How come?" Oh, Man..." Peter said, looking at the floor. "Frank, I'm so sorry. I haven't been completely honest about something." Really?" I tried to seem legitimately. Mimi had applied to every fast food joint, restaurant, grocery store and a slew of assorted odd jobs available in town and still had found nothing. Her anxieties were rising and her stress level was reaching its peak. Everything seemed to finally be catching up to her and she was fighting hard to keep it restrained and keep herself rational and optimistic. She felt like running in the middle of a deep forest and screaming until her head exploded! She wanted to punch trees and stomp the ground.
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