I need to find someone tohelp me through this most difficult of transitions.I am on the toilet, pushing out the residues of my encounter withAntoine. ...ntoine forced me, but had I provoked him? He's probablyregaling his gang banger buddies with his account of it now. They'replaying ball, and talking trash about me. God, they'll all expect to fuckme. That would a rush, if I lived to tell the tale. It would be better tojust leave Fairfax High forever, get a GED someday. I should just forgetit. I was drawn....actually, physically pulled into a group of three guys. They were all grinning at me. Or was that leering with lust?And so the evening progressed. Every time I tried to make a beeline for my friends, another grouping of men waylaid me. My mind was a maelstrom of confusion did words and men. Oh yes, and my body was touched and caressed constantly. Every guy considered me fair game. Arms came around my waist. Hands caressed my naked back. Hands and fingers played over my bum,. “Don’t worry, Marcus, I know, and I love you just as much.”It was a sweltering Saturday afternoon and my sister, Angel, and I were headed to the mall. I wanted Angel to experience life around people, but that thought always made me chuckle when I realized the hypocrisy: my parents had always nagged at me to do the exact same thing. I was also job-searching, trying to find any places that would so much as give me an application form. Since I hadn’t given any thoughts to college, I needed to get. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to,” I said.Then he climbed up on top of me and gave me a huge kiss.“It's OK sis, I liked it,” Ray replied.“Can I have another kiss before we go to sleep?” I asked.“No,” Ray replied.Then I kissed him.“I said 'no',” Ray said.“And your point is?” I asked.Then he kissed me.“Where have you been all my life?” Ray asked.“In my room waiting for you, but we're done waiting,” I replied.We kissed again and went to sleep. We were both very happy, maybe we were moving a little.
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